The Sea Within

Introspection ~ riddled in holes
In that abysmal depth 
rests abject verse, stuttering
in profound exhaustion
of meaning. The hull
was riddled in holes
of a debilitating
introspection
and she is simply
a sunken vessel,
now, sea within a sea,
someplace the spirits
of the deep find
passageway through a once
air filled hold and
portholes of existence
lining those catacombs
of a saline poetry.

We were at the Assateague Island National Seashore last evening and it was the sound of the sea perhaps or the tiredness of an otherwise lovely day, I thought of sunken ships and also of the dead tree riddled in holes that I took a photo of, at Fort Lee Historic Park. It all came together in a poem that I wish to dedicate to mental health awareness month in the US.

Old memories good and bad are like sea creatures that move through the sunken Titanic of our minds. There is no forgiveness nor forgetting, just a momentary watery disillusionment knowing that the vessel isn’t contained, except in the arms of the sea. It is great to be a ship which sails yet be aware, that the ability to bob above consciousness is available to mere flotsam and jetsam too. Some vessels sail to fish food, others to the destruction of war or the appropriation of conquests, some are simply ambition of harnessing the naturally buoyant, some are ghost ships. There are all kinds up there and down here. Making peace with the darkness of the depths opens ones eyes to the beauty of seeing a buried universe, differently. No one but oneself in the amnion of Gaia, entombed or enwombed, a matter of perspective, I think the illusion lies in floating on murky depths. An eclipse brings about an adjustment of vision to actually see what the light blinded out for a couple of years, melding into the pandemic.

We can’t hope that this world will be anything than it actually is but we can choose to swim or float where we may and hope we never encounter often, that which may be a dangerous lesson.

Given that it is Mental Health Awareness Month in the US, I thought also to share this essay I received at Aeon today. It is about the warped self, on how social media makes us feel terrible about who we really are. It discusses aspects researched in Neuroscience and how the knowledge can be used in an empowering way.

On my playlist:

Meu amor sem Aranjuez by Dulce Pontes. The song seems written for the sea like most Portuguese fados are. Perhaps the sea exists for fados 🙂

Shavasana * and how the mind wanders â€¦â€¦

Advasana

Cadaverously prostrate,

Counting backwards from twenty seven,

After numerous contortions of limbs,

Distortion of perspective,

A calm relaxation,

Every muscle left to dissipate…..

Have to recall all the body parts

For they sleep sequentially.

Shhhhh, no, don’t try hard

To remember them all,

Although this isn’t yog nidra*

26 breathe in, 26 breathe out,

25 breathe in, 25 breathe out,

A feather light somnolence descends,

Feather like.

All mental faculties corralled,

Pursed through a linear path until,

Images begin to flit past,

Then coalesce, aggregate…

Branch out further

Kaleidoscopically.

Remembering the crockery I purchased,

35 hours ago, in a shop,

Shops around here,

Open for business despite the downpours…….

Rain, such a relief,

The plants are coming along nicely,

Have to remember to sow the pumpkin seeds,

Research the health benefits of eating pumpkin,

Google everything…….

Mesons……bosons ……

Scientology?

Mass resignations from the Mormon Church?

14 breathe in or was it 12?

Missed a couple of counts,

It wasn’t deliberate,

Forgive myself minor mental indiscretions ,

Now start all over,

The beauty of Shavasana.

……………………………………..

*Shavasana – yogic relaxation corpse pose

*Yog Nidra – Yogic sleep